Imagine, if you will, that kid in high school, the one that no one liked. Maybe he was constantly reading Dungeons and Dragons novels, or every single shirt he owned had a wolf or a dragon or a wizard on it. Maybe he talked an awful lot about how Japanese cartoons are infinitely superior to anything America has ever turned out. Imagine him, and the face he put out to the world in general, and then try to imagine what he was like when no one else was around. Speculate for a moment as to what his diary might have looked like. Maybe he thought a lot about elves, and maybe he'd have liked to be one. Maybe he even felt that he was one in a past life.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

Maybe...and maybe not. While there's really no disputing the outright stupidity of claiming to have been a reincarnated mythical creature, it is perhaps a little hasty to label it insane. Rather, it seems more like a whole lot of wishful thinking -- claimants would really like it to be true, even though deep down they know it's not. So they talk about it a lot. Endlessly, if given the chance, and they defend their right to do just such a thing. It's a classic scenario: If you lie loud and long enough, eventually the volume at which you are bullshitting will take precedence over the fact that you are, in fact, bullshitting. If the preceding description sounds oddly specific, as though it were of something that is already happening, there's a damn good reason for that: It is.

It's easy enough to figure out how Otherkin happened. One person decides they were an elf or a fairy in another life. The idea sounds good -- it's not only appealingly escapist, but it also offers "proof" that they are indeed special, far different from (if not better than) their peers; furthermore, it follows their schlock-fantasy aesthetic -- Dungeons and Dragons come to life. They decide that this is so, and it sounds just as good to another person, who soon "discovers" that they too have lived previous lives, in which they were a unicorn or similar. And so it goes. Again, imagine that guy from high school. Now imagine what he might be like if he had easy access to other people just like him.

The ideas put forth grow and mutate, like some kind of irradiated fungus, growing stranger with each passing moment. Perhaps subtle one-upmanship manifests, as people scrabble to "remember" being more exotic (and powerful) things. But with the Internet being what it is, eventually someone is going to somehow top even the idea that one might have been a dragon in another life on another planet. And sure enough, this is precisely what happened.

Enter Otakukin, a concept so monumentally fucked-up that it could only have sprung from the mind of Livejournal users who really, really like Japanese cartoons and don't get out a whole hell of a lot. It's certainly tempting to try to explain this in florid terms, but this is one of those instances where a simple description of the thing, on its face, with nothing added, will more then suffice. Try to follow here:
1. These people believe in reincarnation.
2. Specifically, they believe that they are the reincarnated spirits of characters from Japanese cartoons and video games.

The human brain has the wonderful ability to edit out things that are too horrible or bizarre or just plain not okay for it to deal with, so it's entirely understandable that your eyes may have refused to focus on that last sentence, or possibly you repressed it the moment you read it. Therefore, to reiterate: These people believe that they are the reincarnated spirits of characters from Japanese cartoons and video games. The closest thing to a rational explanation for this is offered by the community owners themselves:

"There are worlds within worlds, and planes within planes, and this community exist for the discussion of those worlds that are real elsewhere, yet exist on this plane only as fiction. We've been there, or we know those who came from there, and now we puzzle out what we know, what we remember, and what connections exist between them."

This may seem like a curious sort of doublespeak, considering what winds up being said, but it's a far more pleasant thing to say than "We are so very full of shit that our very bodies have somehow reached a shit saturation level of roughly thirteen hundred per cent, and this may seem like it defies physics to you, but trust us on this one." And if the claim looks like it's sure to be the springboard for heretofore unseen heights of "I can't believe I just read that," then rest assured that it does not disappoint. One member opens the bidding with this:

"I come from the world of Gundam Wing. I wasn't a pilot or anything. Just a daughter and a sister."

Which will likely seem tame by the time you're finished reading this. Not to be outdone, another discusses (at great length) how very much she loves these cartoons. It's unintentionally revealing, because it shows exactly how much she wants all this to be true. And it's a short step from "I'd like it to be true" to "I refuse to shut up about how it is, in fact, true, and don't you try to tell me otherwise." If experience has taught anything to the frequent Internet browser, it is this: If you combine a socially retarded shut-in with a Livejournal and a fanatical fondness for Japanese cartoons, it soon becomes only a matter of time before they say something absolutely incredible. Said user proves this to be true, in grand fashion (boldface added for emphasis):

"I've met people who've felt they belong in other worlds, often from anime worlds. I can see why, anime has often appeared in my dreams, and I feel it is such a good conveyer of people, that anime is like the true form of the human soul. The same goes for many many anime worlds. I've seen people in anime form before in my mind, and have pictures of my self (my real self, not my physical self) in anime form, like the icon I'm using for this post. And I've always felt strong connections with video games using anime themes."

Once a mind has turned itself in this direction, any real urge to argue the person out of it goes completely out the window. What, really, is the use? Certainly they're hurting no one, and to try to convince them that they are depressing freakshows is to try to impose your own set of values, even if they are, in this case, the correct set, on someone else. No point to it. Especially when you consider the boldfaced statement above, in conjunction with the following, which is from someone else -- that's right, there's more than one of them out there:

"I have to say before I go further that I believe the true/ideal form of the human soul lies in the Anime design."

Try to imagine a mindset in which that seems like an acceptable thing to say. You can't? Good. You're safe. Brace yourself, then, because this selfsame person has the following to say:

"And taint it is, for Leena has a feeding habit that truly walks the cute half of the dark side. To put it simply, she attacks undefended spiritual worlds and invades them with an army of cute demon girls. She tries to kill no one, but anyone in her path, anyone at all... well, she leaves almost (yes, some spared) nothing but anime girls or her anime/demon girls behind and leaves them with an eternal life to ponder things. And she does this on a semi-regular basis. My friends who know Leena find her to be one huge contradiction as she is very warmhearted and kind, but she is impulsive, selfish, and aggressive. Yes, I've taken approaches with her to stop imposing her idea of a perfect world upon others and at times I've embraced her need. Its very confusing. She considers me her child in some ways, which further tears me from the Angelics I love."

The above describes a situation that the writer wants you to believe is not, I repeat, not fiction. Meanwhile, elsewhere other users discuss the ins and outs of being Otakukin, such as how everyone personally deals with it when they read fanfiction about "themselves..."

"It's a mixed bag. Some of the ecchi fiction is just awful and sickening; a lot of the fanworks are labors of extreme love though, and I have a lot of respect for that. The actual media are also a mixed bag, sometimes they are eerily accurate, sometimes they are close, sometimes only surface-resemblences."

Think about that a moment. Accuracy. Imagine someone watching some horrible cartoon and periodically pointing out "That's not how it really happened." The whole thing is an astounding parfait of sadness, stacking one layer of empty lives upon another. The cherry on top of this mountain of depressing existences whose username will be omitted for purposes of protecting the (debatably) innocent from people raiding her comments field.

This person has, she claims, multiple personalities. Each personality has its own Livejournal, and its own email address. This in and of itself would be enough, but a brief rundown of "alternate personalities" yields, and bear in mind that this none of this is made-up and the person is really and in all seriousness making these claims:

- Van Helsing, from the novel Dracula.
- Mina Murray, originally from the novel Dracula but specifically, the version of Mina from the film The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen -- the film, mind you, not the comic, despite the fact that the film was, by all accounts, the cinematic equivalent of AIDS
- Indiana Jones
- You may be thinking that nothing could possibly be worse than some girl claiming that she has Indiana Jones as an alternate personality, but you'll be pleased to find that she has stepped up to the plate admirably, because: Lara goddamn fucking Croft from the Tomb Raider video games
- Apparently one or two people from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- Dr. Jekyll (and assumedly Mr. Hyde as well)

Where, really, can you go from there? No doubt the Internet will surely show us exactly where you can go from there, but for now, the statement that someone has multiple personalities and Lara Croft is one of them is as good a place as any to end this.