National Security

You know, what with recent world events - both in September and, really, ever since - I have to say that I don't really feel as safe as I once did. The world seems to be a good deal darker and more dangerous, and with the twin threats of war and terrorism lurking in the news and in the collective subconscious of the world, right now I'd say it's pretty hard for anyone to get a sense of security. But I've done some thinking about it, and I am pretty sure that I have arrived at a solution that is not only effective but also devastatingly simple.

Yes, we have armed forces and police, but I truly believe that this nation's only hope lies with an army of cars and jets and things like that which can - at a moment's notice - transform into big robots that fight things, often each other.

The practical applications of this are obvious. Since we now know that cells of terrorists are active on our very shores, it only makes sense that our domestic defense also be one of our first lines thereof. And since these robots will ideally be able to transform into cars and shit which are completely indistinguishable from normal, boring modes of transportation, those who would commit evil acts will never be able to rest easy, as the nation's security force will be pretty much invisible. At any given moment, they will be able to leap into action and transform into giant fucking robots with lasers and deathbeams and swords and things, and I bet they'll be able to fly too.

Additionally, these robots will make cool noises when they transform and they will not only shoot the shit out of things with their giant cannons and guns and rifles, but they will also not be afraid to get down and dirty and punch things (ideally terrorists). Then, after they have kept the peace by blowing shit up and blasting their lasers and being all like BLAM and ZAP and KABOOM, they will transform back into vehicles. Morale in this country will improve a thousandfold.

Not only that, but it will surely do quite a bit for the sagging economy, as production of these noble robots will require much manpower and time, and as such will surely provide many jobs. Additionally, someone will have to teach them how to fight, because when you get right down to it, it's not as simple as you might think to transform into a jet robot and kick people across the state. They will need to learn how to use their awesome powers. Maybe we should teach them karate?

I for one feel safer already, and so, I'm sure, do you.