Ted
In Boston, leaving his house at this moment, is a man we'll call Ted. His name is actually Dave, but we'll call him Ted. Ted is leaving his house, and is going to work. Then, because we have nothing better to to, we are switching from present tense to past. Ted went to work. His boss never could remember his name. Ted worked a lot. He worked in an office, collating, filing reports. Ted probably needed a hobby. After the day was done, Ted got paid, but due to a clerical error, was paid not in dollars but human finger bones. This, he figured, would be a problem during tax time. Undaunted, Ted went to his favorite bar, where someone said to him, "Hi, Ralph," in a conspiracy completely unrelated to this story. Ted drank a bit, and then went home. He was feeling unsatisfied, but Ted always was. Meanwhile, across town, a baby was born, in a hospital, in the dark. The power was out. It was supposed to be symbolic, but of what, no one could say. Probably something really stupid. Ted came home to his wife and they had dinner. Then, after eating, they went upstairs to have sex. Ted's wife was cheating on him. She was also kind of ditzy. We will call her Murray, which is almost like her name, Rhoda, except the two are nothing alike. Oh, yes. The affair. During sex, she accidentally called him by her lover's name which, coincidentally enough, really was Ted. Ted did not notice. He was busy orgasming. After sex, Murray asked Ted how he felt, and he said, "I don't know. I feel as though life is a story that doesn't end so much as